How do I prove my beer glass is dirty?

How do I prove that my beer glass is dirty?

Is your beer glass dirty?

Dear Dave,
My local is under new management and standards have started to slip. The other day I got served a pint in a dirty glass. A dirty glass! Come on man, surely not? However, the new owner immediately went on the defensive saying that it was clean, even after I'd insisted that it was dirty, that I'd been served a pint in a dirty glass and insisted that he pour me a fresh one. How can I prove to this guy that his glasses are in fact dirty?

Hey Orrin,

This guy sounds like he doesn’t deserve your patronage. Defending a dirty glass is inexcusable. Can you imagine how filthy his tap lines are? Anyway, if you’re really stuck on the place - perhaps you live next door or have a crush on the waitron working there? - then try one of these easy tests.

Lacing Test: Fill the glass with beer. If the glass is clean, foam will stick to the inside of the glass in rings after each sip. If the foam doesn’t stick to the glass, or does so in a random pattern, it’s probably dirty.

Sheeting Test: Dip the glass in water. If clean water coats the glass when lifted out the water, or the glass has an invisible film with water breaking up into droplets on the inside surface, it's dirty.

Salt Test: Salt sprinkled on the interior of a wet glass will adhere evenly to the clean surface, but not to parts that contain a greasy film. Poorly cleaned glasses show an uneven distribution of salt.

So try out all of these tests at the bar and then rub it in the new owner's face. Hopefully you educate the cretin.

Stay clean,

Dave’s a barman. Dave stays sober while you get drunk. Dave is part philosopher, part marriage counselor, part shrink and part priest. Dave serves them all. From guys celebrating the news that they’re going to be a dad, to the dude that just got laid off. You got a problem you ask Dave.

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